I?m Quitting Breathing

Earlier today, I had an amazing realisation: I spend at least half my day breathing in. The other half I spend breathing out. Combined, I spend literally my entire life breathing. Enough. From today I am quitting breathing. No more will my lungs be constantly tied up with the intake of oxygen and the removal of carbon dioxide. In one bold step I will be free from the oppressive yoke of gaseous exchange.

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